The dreaded teacher lesson observation

The dreaded teacher lesson observation. The very term fills most teachers with quite an unpleasant feeling! And I mean a heart-dropping, gut-clenching, worrying, nervous, unpleasant feeling. We all know it’s coming at some point during the school year, of course. But it’s an email I, for one, always dread receiving.

I was busy sorting some resources for one of my lessons the following day when the email pinged through from management. I had my emails open in the background and heard the ping, but wasn’t paying any attention and wasn’t really bothered at that precise moment.

Well, I wasn’t bothered at all by emails until a few minutes later when my colleague from across the corridor appeared at my doorway. “Did you see the email from senior management? Mine’s the week after next.” I immediately walked over to my computer and shook the mouse, springing the screen back to life. “Email? What’s the week after next?” Then I see those dreaded words in the subject line: ‘Teacher Lesson Observation.’ My stomach instantly sank as I scrolled through the timetable of teacher names, dates and times searching for my name.

‘Great!’ I huff at my colleague. ‘Mine’s in the second week of observations. The slot right before lunch!’ Ordinarily, this would be ok. However, in the first slot, after playtime, the children have phonics. Which they are streamed for. So they are in different classrooms, and so they usually trickle back to class. Which can be annoying at certain times, like observations!

I think I get especially nervous about teacher observations after some of the experiences I’ve faced in the UK.

We had the usual annual appraisal, teacher lesson observation with two members of SLT. The nerve-wracking, let’s get this over with, I can’t wait for this to be all done with, the longest hour ever, I have wine in the fridge for when I get home later to get me through this, usual annual teacher lesson observation. It was horrible and unnerving, but just something we needed to get ourselves through. I think I dreaded the feedback more than the actual observation sometimes! Feedback and questions and patronising next step strategies by someone who has clearly forgotten what it’s like to be in the classroom after X number of years in SLT!

But, I think it was made all the worse in 2015 with the performance and capabilities procedures and how this was carried out by SLT. I even remember a member of SLT, after a staff meeting about it, making the comment ‘If someone has lost their way in the classroom and is a bit of a crap teacher now, but I guess it also depends if your observer likes you or not!’ I honestly think she thought she was amongst ‘friends’ in her warped mind and that it was somehow OK to make such a terrible comment! But, teachers really did have even more to be nervous about.

Thankfully, I was already leaving that year. As I knew enough to know that I just didn’t want to be a part of it. A lot of my colleagues were worried about this new initiative, and rightly so. I witnessed some quite unsettling moments and how this new system broke teachers before the end of that year. Good teachers as well. And, teachers at different stages of their career proving that no one was immune to the so-called powers that be.

I think I was just lucky with the members of SLT who observed me that year. As that certain member of SLT informed us after that staff meeting, perhaps I was just lucky enough to be ‘liked’, whereas some of my colleagues were quite unfortunate. Or, maybe they just weren’t that bothered with someone who had already handed in their notice and was moving abroad. It was just something they still had to do in order to tick boxes and keep paperwork up to date, maybe! Who knows! But thankfully, those colleagues who were victims of this procedure that I am still in contact with have moved on to better and nicer places. But, unfortunately, this is a process that I hear is still ongoing, which has sadly claimed many victims.

But actually, looking back, I’m not quite sure how my nerves or my sanity survived teaching in the UK!

I remember one year we were told a day over a two-week period to expect an observation, but not a lesson or time slot. To expect two members from SLT on our given day to just arrive in our classroom, where we would be observed. No wonder we were all nervous wrecks!! At the time, I was more concerned with each lesson being ‘perfect’ and ‘ready’, as were my colleagues, that we didn’t stop to think just how diabolical, unfair and frankly just how horrible this expectation was. It really did feel like you were fighting to keep your job at times.

I think someone in SLT was trying to keep us on our toes! The power of the role most certainly had gone to their head! And now, so many years down the line and having gained different experiences, they can keep their damn job and frankly stick it where the sun doesn’t shine!

Also, at certain points in the year, there were learning walks with feedback during staff meetings. We were presented with examples of what SLT considered ‘good’ displays and learning journeys of children’s work with photographs. Those teacher’s displays that weren’t showcased in these photographs received the subtle hint that theirs wasn’t quite up to SLT’s standard, or in their words, ‘OFSTED ready’! I kid you not!

And don’t even get me started on the sneaky, snidey, somewhat very unofficial observations made by certain members of SLT as they were so-called ‘just walking through the corridor’. Often caught out by children on their way back from the toilet or intervention who unintentionally informed their teacher that Mr so and so was standing behind the door writing something. Annoyingly, this happened on several occasions outside several classrooms. We were also told by SLT to keep our classroom doors open. Only, we assume, to make their sneaky, snidey, unofficial observations easier and give them a place to hide!

After a few instances like this and, rightly so, teacher complaints, they even came up with the suggestion that children should only be allowed to go to the toilet during designated break times and not during lessons, as they would be missing their ‘learning time!’ Funny that! In one way, I could see their point, IF I truly believed it was introduced for that reason. But again, this is a case of management forgetting what it’s like to be working in a classroom with 5 and 6-year-olds! But also not forgetting that it took 5 and 6-year-olds to rumble them and catch them out in their sneaky, snidey acts!

I realise that I’m really not selling teaching in the UK, or making it seem very appealing at all. And, unapologetically, no, I’m not! In fact, I really don’t recommend teaching in the UK if I’m to be entirely honest! Why lie? I don’t recommend it to anyone! Given the choice, I wouldn’t do it again!

Lesson observations didn’t take place when I was teaching in Spain. I don’t even remember having to prepare and deliver a lesson during the interview stage when visiting the school. Just mainly lots of rambling from the English head and visiting classes during lesson time to make my own observations of teaching and learning, and meet other staff members.

Even though both Spanish and English head often made their unannounced visits to my classroom during lesson time. Usually at an inconvenient time and for something quite trivial that could have waited until break time *eye roll*. So, I kind of felt out of touch with the whole lesson observation and feedback from management by the time I’d got the job in the Netherlands. Which only made me all the more nervous!

Anyway, back to the current lesson observation…

We get to the week of my lesson observation. It’s on a Thursday, so I’ve pretty much got the whole week to sweat it out! Or, at least that’s how it felt to a nervous, somewhat paranoid Nellie like myself! I just wanted to get it done with. Why couldn’t I be more confident and have more faith in my teaching abilities like the majority of my colleagues seem to? Or maybe they just hide it better than I seem to!

The morning of the observation arrives. I explained to the class that we were to have Mr V and Miss M visit our class to see how we all work in our class and to see their great work. And because of their visit, everyone must make sure they are back and ready for our next lesson. A bit of bribery, patronising even. But we’ve all done it as teachers, and it worked! Everyone was back and ready to start promptly.

However, my nerves were still shot to pieces! My stomach was in knots and kept dropping at the same time! My palms were sweaty, and I could feel myself shivering, even with my voice trembling a little when settling the children as they were coming back into the room. The two members of management were already at the back of the room. Sitting, one with an iPad and the other with a pen and bits of paper, which they kept shuffling. I knew I just needed to start, and I would be fine. This is what I did every day! I just needed to stop being silly and get on with it!

So, nervously, I begin my literacy writing lesson with my class. Feeling anxious the whole while and just wanting it to be lunchtime and the end of the observation. It’s funny and annoying how, after teaching for years now and having been through this procedure numerous times, I still always get myself in this worked-up state. Even with knowing that the procedure is different and there isn’t an ulterior motive like with lesson observations back home. My stomach in knots the whole time, and my voice trembling and seeming hoarse at times. Thankfully, the children didn’t seem to notice or make a comment!

I didn’t do myself any favours either by glancing over to my observers at certain points. Noticing how, when I referred to something in particular, or gave the class an instruction, they’d be tapping away at the iPad or scribbling on their flappy bits of A5 paper.

Then, when the children were doing their individual and group tasks, they decided to mingle and circulate around the room. As a teacher, you just know they’re going to ask that one kid, or more than one sometimes, that looks at them with big wide eyes, shrugs their shoulders and replies with ‘ I dunno!’ when asked about their work. When they do know (well, I hope they do anyhow!), but I guess they must find it all just as intimidating and odd as teachers do! I mean, when else do they see members of SLT in their classroom?

Each of us had to wait until after home time the day of our observation to receive our feedback. I always find this part just as nerve-racking as the actual observation. I’m not sure why in some ways. Maybe I’m just worried about what they are going to say or suggest. Or that they’re calling me to summon me with my P45!

Thankfully, I wasn’t handed my P45 or notice to quit teaching!! Instead, they were both complimentary about the lesson and the children’s learning. That they thought the children were settled and were having a good school year so far. And that’s what’s most important, right? And then there were, of course, points to work on. Some of which were the year group and whole school goals we were all working on. And a couple of points to work on in my teaching for the next time they observe. Which hopefully wouldn’t be too soon!

As always, I’m just glad when observations are over! I know I’m just doing what I do every day with my class, and I shouldn’t really have anything to worry about. But I just hate being watched by management. And with some of my experiences from teaching in the UK, it’s no wonder. I think it makes me realise just how much the process in the UK has affected me, knocked my confidence and has just made me paranoid. But thankfully, teaching internationally has been a totally different, more positive experience. I’m still enjoying my international experiences and have no desire to teach back home!