The art of making friends when you’re a second-time expat!

The art of making new friends when you’re a second-time expat is daunting and never going to be plane sailing! Being an introvert, making new friends hasn’t always been my strong point!

Having said that, I do have some strong friendship groups from where I grew up, university and work. Although we don’t get to meet as often these days with other life commitments. I truly value these friendships. And I’m thankful for WhatsApp and Facetime!

However, it doesn’t feel quite as daunting and nerve-wracking as it was the first time around. Having been an expat once already. And I can happily say that the friends I made in Spain are now friends for life. We recently met up for a short little trip in London. It was great fun to catch up and I can’t wait for our next little trip, wherever that may be!

Thinking about it, I don’t think I found it particularly difficult to make friends when first moving to Spain. Especially with the aid of social media and the internet in general. I’d made a few acquaintances from a language exchange site before moving out there. I found that there were a lot of people who wanted to learn English. So meeting people and making new friends in the city I’d moved to wasn’t that tricky really.

Plus, as I‘d joined the site a few months before moving and meeting my new language partners, we’d had the chance to chat and get to know each other a little before actually meeting. So, it kind of got rid of that awkwardness when we first met. And, it’s thanks to that particular language site that I have made some very good friends.

One of the things that is an added bonus of travelling and wanting to explore different places, is that you will come across some really interesting people. People from many different walks of life and backgrounds to yours.

I always find it fascinating to listen to their different stories and experiences. It’s even more great when you can say these interesting people are your friends!

However, it is true that as you begin to get older it becomes more difficult to make new friends. I have heard and read quotes where some people become more selective about the company they wish to keep as they mature. Which only makes the art of making new friends when you’re a second-time expat all the trickier!

And, I can see where they’re coming from. Sitting with a group of people who gossip about others and then are sweetness and like to their faces has always got my back up. And gives me an instant distrust of that particular person or group of people whenever I witness such a thing. I’m certainly not going to make the mistake of thinking I’m immune to their nonsense! And why surround yourself with such jealousy and nonsense when there are so many ideas, trips and off-the-beaten-track little places to discuss, share and explore!

And, although it pains me and scares the crap out of me. I do think it’s important to push yourself out of your comfort zone in order to meet new and interesting people.

So, as, I’ve joined quite a large school this time round, it obviously comes with a very large staff team.

There are various social groups that take place every so often, like going to the pub after work, a pub quiz, or something that’s on in the city one weekend that might interest us expats.

I’ve already been to one or two events. Some people are quite chatty and like to have a laugh, which is great. It’s exhausting at the same time though too! Keeping up conversations with different people and remembering their names etc at this stage. Especially, when you’re new and everyone wants to introduce themselves and hear all about you and your reasons for wanting to teach internationally! Always a hot topic amongst us expats!

I seem to be getting on well with the people on my team so far. The people I’ve met so far in other year group teams also seem nice and friendly. So working relationships have gotten off to a good start.

I’ve met up socially with one of the teachers in the other year groups a few times. We got chatting one lunchtime and being keen to explore my new home she was happy to show me a few places having lived in the city for a while already.

We have gone for drinks a couple of times after work where she’s shown me some nice terraces and good food. She often has some good ideas for things we can see and do in the city at weekends. She’s a nice, friendly girl, but, at the same time, she’s also quite unreliable and has cancelled a few times now at the last minute. So, I haven’t really bothered to make much of an effort lately. I can’t be doing with the time-wasting of it all! But, if I plan to meet up with some other work friends I always text to see if she’s interested in joining. And she has on one or two occasions.

Lately, I have been meeting up at the weekends with three other teachers from school. One in the same year group as me in KS2 and the other two who are in KS1. They all started working at the school the September before me, so have had more time to familiarise themselves and find out some interesting places to explore! It’s been quite fun and interesting. I hope we continue to plan further little weekend get togethers.

Before moving here I also joined a few expat groups and have been to a couple of their events. I’ve met some interesting and friendly people. However, I’ve also met some very strange people! The sort of people who want to tell you the ins and outs of their very personal and medical lives before you’ve even had a chance to say hello and introduce yourself! I usually think starting with your name and your reason for moving internationally is more than enough information to be giving out to begin with!!

So at the moment, I feel like I’m making acquaintances that will hopefully turn into some good friendship groups. But of course, it is still very early days. The art of making new friends as a second-time expat being a steady process. So I’m just happy to explore what the city and surrounding areas have to offer and to become more familiar with my new home and its surroundings in the meantime.