Attempting to ride my bicycle!

After weeks of saying I’m going to do it, I’ve finally gotten on my bike – with a little help from a colleague! I am finally attempting to ride my bicycle!

So, one Friday afternoon at work, just as we’d seen the children off for the end of the week, one of my colleagues appears in my classroom. “What are you doing this weekend – tonight?” Usually, a group of us go for drinks on a Friday night after work.

“Let’s take the bikes out!” She excitedly proposed.

A couple of weeks ago, she had kindly offered to go on a bike ride with me, as she knew I was feeling quite nervous about it.

And, I guess I’d been putting it off for long enough now.

I respond to my colleague with a nervous smile. Can’t really say no, can I? I have put it off for long enough, and it’s good of her to offer to come along with me. She was smirking as she asked though. Knowing that, as she’s sprung it on me, I can’t really decline the invitation, and that she’s probably in for a bit of a laugh!

So, we head straight to mine, where the bike is.

My colleague was quite keen to get going, quite enthusiastically and excitedly insistent in fact! So I didn’t dare suggest an outfit change. Although I feel trousers would have been more appropriate for a first time, in an extremely long time cycle ride. I’d opted for a skirt and tights that morning. So I was already aware that this was not going to be an elegant bike riding experience! Especially for my colleague, or passers-by, even!

I could already envisage scenes from Carry On movies as I’m attempting to ride my bike! Thankfully, it was a quiet road that we’d opted to bike ride along. At least that hopefully ruled out a re-enactment scene of Some Mothers Do ‘Ave ‘Em, where I end up riding along the rooftop of some poor buggers car! Or, swinging off the back of a bus. But that was roller skates, wasn’t it? Still, I don’t quite fancy doing a push bike version either.

She stands with her bike, still with a grin on her face, as I bring my bike around. She just knows this is going to be entertaining either way. Especially considering how nervous I was. I just had visions of flying over the handlebars and falling flat on my face.

But, hang on a minute! This is me!

I’d end up flying over the handlebars and falling headfirst into the nearest pond or canal. Upsetting the local nesting geese, or some other type of bird. Then having them squawking and chasing me down the road with all the neighbours coming out from all corners, wondering the hell is going on!

I can just see the next Carry On title: Carry On Gormless Cyclist, an English Girl in Holland!

And, as I go to cock my leg over onto the bike (there’s certainly no elegance about how I personally mount and dismount a bicycle!), it suddenly occurs to me. It’s literally been 20 years since I last rode a bike! When I was a teenager!

And, with that thought, I take the bike and begin my new venture. Firstly, with apologising to my colleague for my wardrobe choice, as I attempt to cock my leg over and bring myself up onto the seat. Which turns out to be an epic fail! As my skirt somehow gets caught under the tip of the seat from the bottom bit around my knees.

I wriggle and jiggle, even try yanking it out from under me. All in that split, frantic, embarrassing, with a very unflattering image, second before realising I should step down and try again. Standing up from the seat. Which is probably what I should have done in the first instance, especially given as both feet were still on the ground at this point!

I  make my second attempt at mounting. This time, thankfully, I managed to get my rather oversized backside onto the seat and without getting my skirt caught this time!

Then, I somehow manage to get my feet onto the pedals. After some nervous wobbling and one or five attempts, I begin to pedal.

It all feels really strange and scary! I haven’t ridden a bike in such a long time. It just all felt really odd. And I’m just wobbling all over the place, really! But, I’m moving along nonetheless.

I already know the next lesson will be mastering the art of cycling in a straight line!

But, as well as the worry of falling flat on my face or ending up in the canal. I’m terrified someone is going to come in the opposite direction. What do I do? Apart from the obvious! I can’t keep in a straight line for toffee! How is the poor bugger going to know which way to go in order to avoid a collision?!

Another Carry On title is starting to emerge in my mind!

I manage a few (single-digit) yards before I come to a stop. “What’s wrong? Why have you stopped? You were doing good.” My colleague continues to be encouraging and supportive.

I collect my thoughts for a few seconds, have a word with myself, and have another go. Feeling a bit braver, but still wobbling all over the place, I’m feeling slightly more confident. I know this because I’ve managed to cycle more than 10 yards without a Nervous Nelly, worrier cyclist moment.

We carry on a little longer. Still wobbling all over the place and sticking my leg out at times, anticipating an inevitable fall whenever I get into a bit of a wobble, before deciding to call it a day.

I have to say, my colleague had a lot of patience and stuck it out with me! No wonder she was keen to get to the bar for a beer, or three! And of course, the beers were most definitely on me!

So, although I’ve finally taken the plunge and managed the art of riding a bike without having enough comedy scenes for the next Carry On or Some Mothers Do Ave Em film. I still have a while to go before using the main cycling paths! Just need to keep practicing, I guess!